When Chris and I got married last year, I found the process of planning a wedding far less delightful and far more alienating and stressful than I expected it to be. Worse, I felt like there was something wrong with me for not liking “being a bride” in our culture that makes so much of the cute pictures, wedding trends and bridal economy. Even though we didn’t give societal expectations too much weight as we made our wedding vows, I still found myself embedding little secrets to myself throughout the events so that I could relieve my stress with a private chuckle.

One example is these quartz rocks, with which I filled my bridal purse (a beaded number I borrowed from my mom). Rather than lipstick and tissues, I carried around a bag of rocks at my wedding, both for the aforementioned giggle and because they say that crystals like these pick up the energy of events. I still regard them as charged with the energy of our wedding day and also laugh when I think of the moment my new mother-in-law picked up my purse and said, “Jeez, what do you have in here – a pile of rocks?”